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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22751713">Saturn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterStark/pseuds/PeterStark'>PeterStark</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Irondad and Spiderson Songfics [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, Everything Hurts, F/M, Irondad, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Sad Ending, Songfic, Tearjerker, The Author Regrets Everything, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, spiderson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:34:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,757</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22751713</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterStark/pseuds/PeterStark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You taught me the courage of stars before you left.<br/>How light carries on endlessly, even after death.<br/>With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite.<br/>How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.<br/>...<br/>With shortness of breath, I’ll explain the infinite<br/>How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist."<br/>-Saturn, by Sleeping at Last</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Irondad and Spiderson Songfics [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1289789</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Saturn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAriadna/gifts">LadyAriadna</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is super late, I know. Almost a whole year late.<br/>I haven't been writing lately because of some personal stuff, but I found this on my computer and thought I should post it. I hope to be back writing again soon. I miss writing for you guys.<br/>I own nothing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony got out of his suit and slowly walked to the edge of the rooftop. Without a word, he sat down next to Peter. The young hero pulled his mask off of his face without saying anything, tears were running down his face. Tony didn't know what to do or say. When FRIDAY'd said that the kid was under duress, he thought maybe a baddie and gunshots...not crying on a rooftop.</p>
<p>He slowly reached out and put his hand on Peter's shoulder. It seemed instantly like the wrong thing to do, because the boy crumpled and let out a rough sob. They sat in silence for a long time, until Peter seemed to catch his breath.</p>
<p>"Wh-what are you doing here, M-Mr. Stark?" Peter asked, wiping his face.</p>
<p>"Got an alert from your suit. You okay?" Tony winced at his own question. "Sorry, that was stupid, you're not, I can tell...God I suck at this."</p>
<p>"You're allowed to ask me if I'm okay." Peter laughed sadly.</p>
<p>Tony sighed. "What's up, underoos?"</p>
<p>"Have you ever thought about how awesome and random life is?" Peter asked after a moment of silence. "I mean, it's basically impossible."</p>
<p>"We're here, aren't we?" Tony asked, not understanding.</p>
<p>"No, but, think about it. Whether you go the science way or the religion way, the odds of any one of us existing and being alive in this moment in time surrounded by the people who exist around us and doing what we do is so fucking tiny that it can only be a fluke. Life is a fantastic fluke, Mr. Stark."</p>
<p>Tony'd never thought of it that way. "You've got a point."</p>
<p>"Then we live our lives and we love people and do things and it's a miracle. Isn't it?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, kid, it is." Tony nodded, rubbing Peter's back, still not sure why the kid was crying.</p>
<p>Peter looked down to the city. "Ben died...two years ago today."</p>
<p>Oh. Tony had no clue what to say to that. "I'm sorry."</p>
<p>"I was too scared. Did you know that?" A tear leaked down Peter's face. "I just got these powers. I'd tested them, like any person would. I knew I could run fast. I knew I could climb walls. I knew I healed fast. I knew all these powers. And I was there. There was a gun and I could have stopped him. I knew it. But I got scared. I felt so small and I didn't save him. It wasn't that I couldn't, Mr. Stark, I could have saved my uncle, but I didn't."</p>
<p>"It's not your fault, Peter. You were a kid, of course you were scared. It wasn't your fault." Tony insisted.</p>
<p>"But I could have done better." Peter said, his fingers flexing around his mask. He lifted it slowly, as if he were examining it. "When I made my suit it was because of Ben...because I was scared, so I had to make something that wasn't scared, someone who wouldn't freeze. I'm scared...all the time, Mr. Stark. But I made the mask, I made Spiderman so he could help, so he wouldn't be scared...like me."</p>
<p>"You're the bravest kid I know, Peter." Tony assured him, but he understood. Tony's own suit was like that for him too.</p>
<p>"Spiderman was scared today." He sniffled and wiped his face. "He almost failed."</p>
<p>"What happened?"</p>
<p>"This guy... He was gonna jump off the bridge." Peter pointed beneath them. "I tried to talk to him, told him how random life was. How amazing it was. I told him about how even when bad things happen, there are good things too. Like...my parents died, but I had May and Ben. And how when I lost Ben, the world gained Spiderman and so many people have been saved. And how I've met you and you've helped so much. I tried to tell him about how beautiful it is. I mean, I'm pretty damn unlucky, but it's still so amazing. The universe is like magic...and even some of the darkest days have a light ending, you know?"</p>
<p>Tony stared at the kid. 'I do not deserve this precious kid.' "Yeah, Peter, I get it." Becoming Iron Man had been painful, but it had changed his life for the better in so many ways. And it had brought him friends, a family, and Peter. Peter who was quickly becoming a son to him.</p>
<p>"He said he lost everything, that there was nothing good left. And he jumped, Mr. Stark." Peter shook his head. "I froze! Mr. Stark, I stood there and stared like an idiot. All I could think about was how stupid he was. How life is beautiful and precious and should never be wasted. And I was angry because there are people who loved him and he was abandoning them, because I've lost people and I know how much that hurts. And I was sad, because he was so hurt. And I was scared because I didn't think I could save him...scared because he was another Ben." Peter took a shakey breath. "I did catch him. He had two kids and he was crying when he hugged them... His wife took him to get help, but Spiderman froze, Mr. Stark. What if he'd died?"</p>
<p>"He didn't, you saved him, Peter. But even if he hadn't made it...it wasn't your fault. You can't make yourself responsible for everyone's actions, that'll drive you crazy, Peter. Think about it, if a bomb goes off somewhere, it's the guy who set it off's fault, right? If Iron Man gets there first and stops it, then it's just a lucky thing that Iron Man showed up. And if the bomb still went off...well, yeah, it's natural to feel guilt, human even, but I didn't put the bomb there and I tried. That's all we can do, Peter, we're only human. You spoke to that man and maybe you were the only one who was kind to him that day. Even if he had managed to kill himself, you were at least a light in his life, because I know you, Peter. You are a beacon of hope to everyone around you."</p>
<p>Peter shook his head.</p>
<p>Tony got up and wrapped his arms around the kid, pulling him onto the roof. "Turn around, kid, I'm going for a hug."</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"We're there, Peter. Come here." Tony pulled Peter against his chest and closed his eyes as the teen snuggled in. "You're right, Peter. Life's amazing. And there's always going to be bumps in it. But it's worth it. Every second is worth it."</p>
<p>"Yeah. It really is."</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>"Mr. Stark?"</p>
<p>Relief. Sweet relief. Peter was alright. Tony turned and the relief turned to horor. Peter looked horrible and terrified.</p>
<p>"I don't feel so good."</p>
<p>Peter whose senses were dialed to eleven. Peter who could feel half the universe dying. Peter who could feel his own body falling apart. Peter whose healing factor was fighting, trying to keep him together even as flecks of dust began to fall from his suit. Peter who was a child. Obviously a scared, hurting child...a dying child.</p>
<p>That kid who'd once taught him exactly how precious life was...that kid was losing his life.</p>
<p>Tony put on a brave face. The last thing Peter needed now was him to fall apart. If he was scared, that would only make Peter more scared.</p>
<p>"I don't know what's happening." The teen stumbled forward.</p>
<p>Tony was having none of that shit. He pulled the boy into his arms and held him tight.</p>
<p>"I don't wanna go."</p>
<p>Peter, a child, a kid...his kid. He knew it. He knew he was dying. Tony's heart shattered and he had no clue what to say.</p>
<p>"Sir, please." Peter begged. "Please."</p>
<p>The kid didn't even call him Tony. All Tony wanted to say wouldn't come out. 'It's okay, son. You're going to be okay. I can fix this, I fix things. I love you. I'll save you. You're okay. I'm sorry.' But Tony couldn't speak, he was too scared, to terrified to even tell the boy who was like a son that he loved him.</p>
<p>"I don't wanna go." Peter was crying. Peter was scared.</p>
<p>Tony was powerless. He laced his fingers through Peter's hair, hoping the teen understood, hoping he knew. 'I love you, Peter, I'm sorry. I love you. I'll fix this. I'll fix this. You'll be okay.'</p>
<p>"I don't wanna go."</p>
<p>Tony lay the boy on the stones, keeping his hands on him, trying to swallow the lump in his throat to speak.</p>
<p>Peter, who knew loss. Peter who knew the pain of losing someone you felt you could save. Peter who knew that responsibility. The responsibility for caring for the beautiful, precious thing called life. That boy looked up at Tony and his eyes watered, but not in fear, in guilt. "I'm sorry."</p>
<p>Then Peter, proof that the universe could create something perfect, couragous, and beautiful, was gone.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Tony didn't have to be told he was dying, no. He knew he was already dead, his body just hadn't caught the memo yet. He looked up at a sobbing, but so alive, Peter and he wished he could smile. But then he realized he shouldn't.</p>
<p>Because that boy would bare the weight of this, the same way he bore the weight of his uncle and his parents. It was just as Peter said. Every dark day had something beautiful in it. Tony would die, he'd leave his beautiful life, leaving his wife, his son, and his daughter. But half the universe had been saved. Peter had been saved and life would go on... But he knew there would be pain for it to...especially for the boy who was sobbing over him. A boy he never wished to see cry.</p>
<p>"We're going to be okay." Pepper said.</p>
<p>Yes. That was true. Pepper would soldier on, she'd hurt, but she'd make it. She'd take care of their daughter.</p>
<p>But Peter... He tried to hang on, tried...but he was so tired.</p>
<p>"You can rest now."</p>
<p>He looked at Pepper, then to Peter. He wished he could speak. Wish he could tell them about all of the wonderful things worth living for, worth dying for. He wished he could tell them how much he loved them, how he hated leaving them.</p>
<p>Most of all, he just wanted to tell Peter he was sorry. No words made it past his lips though.</p>
<p>'I'm sorry.'</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Take care.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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